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[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
"What?" cried Supervisor Collier. "I have half a mind to leave you to your own
inadequate defenses. But, of course, you're not who you seem to be. I'll have
to make allowances."
"What are you talking about?" asked Sly.
"What are you talking about?" asked Marshmallow.
"What are you talking about?" asked Frank Poole.
"What are you talking about?" asked Pierce-Arro.
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Supervisor Collier looked harried. "No time," she said worriedly. "I want you
all to take out a half sheet of paper and number it from one to five."
The others looked at each other in bewilderment. "Do it," said Collier in a
commanding voice. Sly distributed paper and pencils. "First: When you were a
child, what shape did the Milky
Way Galaxy have?"
"We don't have time for this," complained Pierce-Arro.
Collier looked up at the loudspeakers. "We've got to sort out the humans from
the aliens, and find out who belongs in this reality and who doesn't. Two:
Which planet is known as the Home of
Mankind, and where is its parking area? Three: What do you do with nuclear
waste? Four: Where was intelligent life first discovered beyond the Home of
Mankind? And five: Why do we need both potassium and sodium? Aren't they
pretty much the same element?"
"That's a crazy question," said Sly. "It doesn't make any sense."
"Maybe," said Supervisor Collier, "and maybe not. Now pass me all the papers."
Sly collected the quizzes and handed them to the woman. She glanced through
them quickly.
"Did Ah pass, ma'am?" asked Marshmallow.
"I'm not a ma'am," said Collier. "I'm a Supervisor. All right, everything
seems to be in order.
Now, here's what we have to do "
"Attention! Attention! This is the Voice of Doom!"
The words from the loudspeakers blasted through the cramped quarters of the
Pete Rozelle.
"It's those weird aliens that got swapped for the XB-223 navigational
computer," Sly explained.
"No, it wasn't us!" said Pierce-Arro in a quavery voice. "That announcement
originated from "
"This is the Voice of Doom, originating from the ultimate battle cruiser
Eudora Welty. That's the lizard dreadnought to you. I am currently in command
aboard the dreadnought. All general officers have been confined to their
quarters, and I alone am leading my forces into combat. The
Eudora Welty is currently in position above the surface of your puny uncharted
world. All guns are trained on the Arbiter Transport ship Pete Rozelle. You
will show no hostile activity or you will be obliterated without hesitation.
My demands will be forthcoming. Stand by."
Everyone in the control room looked frightened. "Who was that?" said
Marshmallow.
Frank Poole stood up drunkenly. The lizard Pierce, inside, said, "Someone's
led a revolution
aboard the Eudora Welty! My fellow generals have been arrested! It sounds like
we're sitting salamanders down here! I've got to let them know I'm here! They
wouldn't kill me along with you!"
"Why not?" said Sly. The lizard general had no good reply to that.
Supervisor Collier's face had drained of color. "We have even less time than I
thought," she said. "We've got to get you all returned to your proper bodies.
That's the most important thing."
"But how?" said Pierce-Arro. "We're missing one of the bodies and one of the
minds."
"It won't work unless we get the lizard general's body back," said
Marshmallow. "And
Marshmallow's mind. Wait a minute, I'm Marshmallow!" She sat down in a naked
huff, bewilderment on her pretty face.
"Ahoy the wreck!" called Pirate Paddy. His scowling face appeared again on
Screen 1.
"What do you want, you savage?" called Sly. "We've got enough problems over
here."
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"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. See, I'm here only because Miss
Goldberg's father offered to pay me a certain sum to effect her rescue. Well,
I was all for seeing that the dear girl got away safely, when I was just
plucking her from this primitive, uncharted planet. No one said anything to me
about facing down a lizard dread-nought. Consequently, I just wanted to let
you know that I'll be getting along now. Some of my men have families back
home, and we haven't filed our taxes this year and the deadline's coming up,
and with one thing and another it's probably best if we just shove off. I hope
you kids make out all right. Wish I could stick around to lend a hand, but you
know how it is. If there's anything I can ever do for you, just let me know.
Miss Goldberg, please give my regards to your father, and tell him that I'm
sorry I wasn't able to be of more assistance."
"You phony coward!" screamed Sly. "You're probably not even a real pirate!"
"Arrr!" growled Paddy, slipping both patches down over his eyes before he cut
off his transmission.
"There he goes," said Marshmallow, watching the Bon Homme McClusky lift off.
"Attention! This is the Voice of Doom! Be advised that I will not permit that
ship of pirates to escape. Such trifling only serves to anger me. I will
decide how to dispose of de Faux Grais at my leisure. Take a lesson!"
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Dobre pomysły nie mają przeszłości, mają tylko przyszłość. Robert Mallet
De minimis - o najmniejszych rzeczach.
Dobroć jest ważniejsza niż mądrość, a uznanie tej prawdy to pierwszy krok do mądrości. Theodore Isaac Rubin
Dobro to tylko to, co szlachetne, zło to tylko to, co haniebne.
Dla człowieka nie tylko świat otaczający jest zagadką; jest on nią sam dla siebie. I z obu tajemnic bardziej dręczącą wydaje się ta druga. Antoni Kępiński (1918-1972)
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