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before it gets dark.
Without waiting for his agreement, she headed out the
door and down the steep set of stairs that led down to
the sand. Her body, her brain, felt tingly, jumpy. Like
with every word out of her mouth, with every revelation
she hadn't intended to reveal, she was changing into
someone else.
And suddenly she knew for sure that the woman she'd
been last night and the woman she'd be when she left
this cabin would be very different people.
Thanks to Luke.
At first she didn't hear his footsteps on the stairs
behind her. She was nearly at the bottom before they
came.
Clearly, he was having a hard time. With her, obviously.
But what else was bothering him so much?
It was exactly what she intended to find out.
Her feet bare, she walked through dry sand to where it
was dark and cold and wet.
For being such a city girl, she had always loved nature.
In fact, she rarely worked out in a gym, preferring to go
for a hike or an open-water swim.
A wave came in and as the water frothed over her feet,
she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.
Cold?
Come here and feel it for yourself.
When he didn't walk into the surf, she held out an arm
to him. Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.
She realized the hugeness of what she'd said as his
eyes bore into her, as serious as she'd ever seen him.
She tried to open her mouth to make a joke that would
minimize it, but nothing came.
Because she'd meant it. She would keep him safe.
Because she'd meant it. She would keep him safe.
If he would let her.
Finally, he came forward and took her hand. And the
incredible thing was, even after all of the amazing
things he'd done to her body, his simply holding her
hand was the most wonderful thing of all.
Together, they stood at the edge of the surf in perfect
silence, holding hands. Janica worked to memorize
every sensation. The slightly rough skin of his palm
against hers. The smell of salt water and redwood
trees. The sun fading behind wispy clouds.
How numb her feet were.
I can't feel my toes anymore.
She was glad to hear him chuckle. Me either.
Not letting go of his hand, she said, Let's walk some
circulation back into them.
Perhaps if she'd been someone else, the perfectly
sweet, biddable woman that Luke thought he belonged
with, she would have simply been content to enjoy his
company out on the sunset beach.
But since there wasn't a chance of that, she said, Do
you like being a doctor?
His hand tightened on hers at his surprise at her
question. Of course I do.
What else do you like?
Another tightening. There isn't a lot of time for anything
else.
Okay, she could see she wasn't going to get very far
with this line of questioning. Maybe another tack.
Why did you become a doctor?
What is this? Twenty questions?
I just realized that even though we've known each
other for so long, we don't know much about each
other, do we?
Except for how perfectly our bodies fit together.
No, he said slowly, I don't suppose we do.
But when he didn't answer her previous question, she
said, Was it because of your mom?
He tried to pull his hand away. But she refused to let
him get away that easily. Just as she'd refused to let
him say what they were doing could never be more
than sex. Even if it was probably the truth when
everything was said and done.
Because there was no denying that what went on in the
middle of the night in her apartment, what happened
between them in the cocoon of a cabin in Big Sur, had
absolutely nothing to do with the real world.
But just because it was fact, didn't mean she had to
like it.
And it didn't mean she wasn't going to fight it with
everything she had.
When we were back in the cabin, you told me you
wanted to listen. I want to do the same for you. When
he remained silent, she said, I never really knew my
parents. But you were ten years old when your mom
Dammit, Janica, I don't want to talk about it.
He wrenched his hand out of hers and turned away to
head back toward the cabin.
Her heart broke for him, for all the pain he'd kept
bottled up inside for so long. And even though she
knew she should let him go, leave him alone like he
wanted, she simply couldn't walk away from him.
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| Cytat |
Dobre pomysły nie mają przeszłości, mają tylko przyszłość. Robert Mallet
De minimis - o najmniejszych rzeczach.
Dobroć jest ważniejsza niż mądrość, a uznanie tej prawdy to pierwszy krok do mądrości. Theodore Isaac Rubin
Dobro to tylko to, co szlachetne, zło to tylko to, co haniebne.
Dla człowieka nie tylko świat otaczający jest zagadką; jest on nią sam dla siebie. I z obu tajemnic bardziej dręczącą wydaje się ta druga. Antoni Kępiński (1918-1972)
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