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remember standing in endless lines -- to collect papers, to get
into Conference rooms, to meet people one wanted to see.
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However, the time that is etched indelibly in my memory is
one of the first days, when I was with Ernie Katz, W.M., and L.K.
We were talking about carbogen or LSD or some aspect of our drug
work.
"Pardon me," said a voice behind us. "Are you by any chance
Dr. Betty Eisner of Los Angeles?"
My mouth fell open in amazement. I turned around to see a
tall, handsome, very serious young man standing behind me. I had
never seen him before.
"You see," he continued apologetically, "I heard what you
were discussing, and I figured it must be you." And then he went
on to introduce himself: Stanislov Grof from Czechoslovakia.
I don't think I had heard of him then, but after he described
his work, we were all fascinated. It was somewhat like Ron
Sandison's and mine at the VA. (Ron, incidentally, was at the
conference but staying with his English colleagues.) When we
asked Stanya, he told us of his research, and we saw the pictures
that his patients had drawn and painted -- just like those Ron
had, and also like the patients I had done at the VA who went to
the art studio after sessions. His success rate was like ours,
too. In fact, we had met a fellow traveler of LSD therapy!
It became international old home week, and Stanya joined us
for the rest of our activities in London, and we were instrumental
in persuading him to come to the United States in order to
continue his work. The next time we were to see him was when he
came to visit us in Los Angeles the following year.
130
During this summer, I had been under particular pressures
because Will had been found to have a malignant tumor at the apex
of his left lung. He had been operated on while I was with him in
Palo Alto, before we left for England, and then he began a series
of radiation treatments from the Linear Accelerator. It was a
very difficult decision for me, but Will insisted that I carry out
my plans to go to the Europe, taking the children with me.
I can remember my relief in London when I received an air
letter from him saying that he was being discharged as "cured".
It was therefore a devastating shock when I was in Paris with the
children to have a call from the friend whose apartment we were
staying in and who was in our home in Santa Monica that I should
come home immediately because Will was dying. It took some time
to get a connection to Will by phone. He said that he was fine,
and that I should finish the trip with the children.
I didn't know whom to believe. Will was emphatic that he was
well; my friend was skeptical; but she also felt that we should
finish our trip. We arrived home just before Labor Day, and Will
came down to see us and to hear about the trip.
I was shattered when I saw him. My friend had been right.
Although the lung cancer was cured, it had metastasized to the
brain. In a little over four months, Will was gone. We had been
married 28 years.
*******
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The last important conference for those of us who had worked
with LSD was "The Second International Conference on the Use of
LSD in Psychotherapy and Alcoholism", held at the South Oaks
Hospital in Amityville, New York. Dr. Harold Abramson was South
Oaks Research Director. At times the Conference seemed somewhat
redundant since by that time virtually all LSD for clinical work
had been withdrawn. But we were to have one last hurrah!
July 1, 1964
Dear Dr. Eisner:
On June 12, 1964 the Planning Committee met in New York City
to decide on the details for the SECOND CONFERENCE ON THE USE OF
LSD IN PSYCHOTHERAPY&
The Conference will be held under the auspices of the
Foundation (South Oaks Research Foundation, Inc.)...The length of
the Conference will be two and a half days starting at 10:00 A.M.
Saturday, May 8th and lasting until noon Monday, May 10, 1965&
Although the organization will be somewhat similar to the
First Macy Conference, the Second Conference will differ in one
very important aspect. Participants will not present their papers
orally, but are expected to submit manuscripts in duplicate to me
on or before January l, 1965. These manuscripts will be either
mimeographed or printed and distributed to all participants one
month before the Conference begins. These PREPRINTS then will be
available for study by members of the Conference who may come in
with prepared discussions or discuss the papers spontaneously
during the Conference.
The Planning Committee felt that the primary purpose of the
Conference had to do with psychotherapy, but that mechanisms of
action would be a most suitable supplementary topic.
It is anticipated that the proceedings of the Conference
will be published with each submitted paper followed by its
appropriate recorded discussion. In the last Macy Conference on
LSD, members presenting papers were often unable to finish their
presentation because the discussion often went far afield. For
this reason the early distribution of the PREPRINTS will give
maximum time for discussion and assurance that each participant
132
will have his presentation available in full to members of the
Conference&
With kindest personal regards, Yours Sincerely,
H. A. Abramson, M.D. Director of Research (South Oaks Research
Foundation, Inc.)
Since I had accepted the Conference before I knew the
seriousness of Will's illness, and the paper was mostly finished
before his death, it was felt by the research group that I should
go to the Conference, but that one of the group should go with me.
Dr. Abramson was willing to have a silent participant under the
circumstances. L.K. was not able to go, so W.M. from RAND
accompanied me. W.M. and L.K. had met many of the participants
the summer before in London where they were when I was there with
the children for the Social Psychiatry Congress.
There were fifty-five of us gathered at Amityville, New York,
almost every single therapist who had used LSD. Sandison, Ling,
Buckman, Martin and McCririck, plus others I didn't know from
England; Arendsen-Hein and van Rhijn from Holland; Leuner from
Germany; Johnsen from Norway; Grof from Czechoslovakia (which we
had happily managed); several groups from Canada plus Abram Hofer,
and Humphry, although by that time he was Head of the Bureau of
Research in Neurology and Psychiatry in New Jersey; one man from
Italy; and then besides the old guard from the US (Cohen, Ditman -
- paper, not in person, Savage, Elkes, Murphy, Rinkel, Fremont-
Smith, etc). John Lilly reported on his LSD work with dolphins,
making some of it sound just like psychotherapy; in fact, one
participant drew a parallel between dolphins and the delinquents
133
she works with. Walter Pahnke stunned us all with his brilliant
controlled and double-blind study on the comparison of the mystic
state under psilocybin with non-drug mystic states in men
seminarians.1 And of course, many others, too numerous to mention.
(My paper, "The Importance of the Non-Verbal", described a number
of unusual and effective techniques we had evolved in individual
and group sessions. It elicited a rousing discussion!)
The fifty-five of us produced an enormous tome of just under
seven hundred pages -- with Harold Abramson's hard work and good
editing. Actually, it is a virtual text-book on the use of LSD in
psychotherapy -- and alcoholism -- "written" by the people who
developed the methods they used. Dr. Frank Fremont-Smith, who
chaired the Conference along with Dr. Abramson, said:
"It is to be hoped that the research and clinical studies
reported in this volume will serve to bring into better
perspective the use of LSD in particular and the proper management
in general of governmental restrictions upon drug research by
qualified physicians."
Alas, at that time, none of us could obtain LSD for our work.
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zanotowane.pldoc.pisz.plpdf.pisz.plkwiatpolny.htw.pl
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Dobre pomysły nie mają przeszłości, mają tylko przyszłość. Robert Mallet
De minimis - o najmniejszych rzeczach.
Dobroć jest ważniejsza niż mądrość, a uznanie tej prawdy to pierwszy krok do mądrości. Theodore Isaac Rubin
Dobro to tylko to, co szlachetne, zło to tylko to, co haniebne.
Dla człowieka nie tylko świat otaczający jest zagadką; jest on nią sam dla siebie. I z obu tajemnic bardziej dręczącą wydaje się ta druga. Antoni Kępiński (1918-1972)
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