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afraid to look.
Can I give you a little advice without you getting pissed? Paige asked.
Lilly sighed. Since when has me being pissed ever stopped you from giving me your opinion?
I think you should give him a chance to explain, she said. The guy I saw on the other side of that
door& he wasn t a guy who wanted to use you. He was a guy dying inside over the thought that he d
hurt you. He loves you, sweetie. Anyone with eyes can see that.
Lilly wrapped her arms around her middle to hold herself together. She could feel her insides
cracking, splitting, aching. She wanted that to be true so much.
But she knew better.
He doesn t want me, Paige. She bit her bottom lip to replace the pain inside with another. If he
really cared about me, he wouldn t have lied. He wouldn t have led me on, all the while knowing he
was leaving any minute.
Paige grabbed a piece of paper from the coffee table and handed it to her.
Lilly glanced over what was written on the paper. A time, date, and address. What s this?
Well, if you re not to going to listen to me, maybe work can take your mind off the man, Paige
said. Some people called needing engagement photos done tomorrow. I told them you d try to fit
them in, but I couldn t find your schedule book to be sure.
Yes. This was exactly what she needed. Work. A distraction. Her camera in her hands.
And Nate Jennings as far from her thoughts as possible.
Chapter Twenty
Nate! Jace called from the other side of Nate s front door as he beat the shit out of it. Open the
damn door before I kick it the hell down.
Nate dropped a stack of plastic cups into a box marked KITCHEN and opened the door.
Jace glowered at him, then pushed past him to stalk into the now half-empty apartment. Why
haven t you been answering your phone?
Nate didn t even know where his phone was. It didn t matter. The one person in the world he
wanted to call never would. Didn t hear it. Sorry.
Jace silently watched him pack for a moment before he picked up a box to help. You should have
called me. I could have come over and helped with this.
Nate swallowed another lump of guilt. I know.
His brother tossed a stack of books into a box. Have you heard from Lilly?
No.
He d tried to call her. Stalked her apartment. Bribed her roommate. None of it had worked. She d
cut him off, and for every second of every day he was feeling the withdrawal. The worst part was the
fear that he d never see her smile again. The last time he d seen her, she d looked so hurt. So
betrayed. She s put herself out there and he d crushed her. Rubbing his chest where it ached, he
grabbed a roll of tape and sealed the kitchen box. Closing up another piece of his civilian life.
You going to tell me where they re sending you?
Nate popped open another box and raised a brow. You know I m not allowed to say.
Jace pushed out a breath and braced his hands on the sofa. Have you at least found someone to
sublet the apartment?
Nate shook his head. He knew he should just give in and get rid of the place. It wasn t as if it had
ever felt like a home.
You know who needs a place? Lilly, he said. She s got to be out of her apartment in a week and
still hasn t found anything.
Just hearing Lilly s name made Nate s world implode all over again. He d actually been lucky
enough to find a woman who accepted him, flaws and all, and he couldn t accept himself enough to be
with her. He d fucked up, and now he d run out of time.
No. She was better off without him. Now she could be with someone normal, someone without all
his damn baggage. Someone who could make her happy.
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, when really the thought of Lilly not having a place to live made
his protective instincts roar to the surface. He wanted to find her and drag her back here, caveman
style, and convince her to stay forever.
But he knew he couldn t. It may hurt now, but this way was for the best. She d been right to shut
him out.
Why do you keep doing this? Jace finally asked, hands on hips.
Doing what?
Pushing people away.
A fresh wave of pain rolled through Nate s chest. He threw down the box in his hand and glared at
his brother. Because all I do is disappoint everyone! Why do you even want me around, Jace? I
abandoned you when you needed me the most. You should have told me to go fuck myself a long time
ago.
Jace opened his mouth and closed it again, shock flashing across his face. You think I see you as a
disappointment?
When Nate didn t answer, his brother shook his head. You re the only one who believes that,
Nate. How could I think of you as a disappointment? Do you have any idea how many times you ve
bailed my ass out over the past two years with the bar? Because I ve lost count.
Wordlessly, Nate picked up an empty box.
Jace knocked it out of his hand. Listen to me for once.
Nate gritted his teeth and took a step back to put some distance between them. Pain flared to life
behind his temple, pulsing, clawing at his skull. What the fuck do you want from me?
I want you to pull your head out of your ass and beat this thing! he shouted. I know you re
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Dobre pomysły nie mają przeszłości, mają tylko przyszłość. Robert Mallet
De minimis - o najmniejszych rzeczach.
Dobroć jest ważniejsza niż mądrość, a uznanie tej prawdy to pierwszy krok do mądrości. Theodore Isaac Rubin
Dobro to tylko to, co szlachetne, zło to tylko to, co haniebne.
Dla człowieka nie tylko świat otaczający jest zagadką; jest on nią sam dla siebie. I z obu tajemnic bardziej dręczącą wydaje się ta druga. Antoni Kępiński (1918-1972)
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