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know how I ve been in the past.
I know enough, she said.
Oh? I said, raising a nonchalant brow. Really?
How?
How? she repeated. Just listening to you talk.
You re the one who brags about men you ve been with.
Maybe I had told them about a couple of the guys I d
dated in high school but I never thought that I d bragged.
I d only wanted to impress them, though. They d both
laugh me out of the room if they knew the honest truth
just how many there d actually been.
Are you in love with Collin? I blurted.
Collin? she asked, blinking rapidly. No. What
gave you that idea?
I laughed and drew a dark look from her. Sorry but
Irelyn was under the impression that you were in love
with him.
No. Not at all, she admitted in a small voice.
So, it s Spencer. He s the one you re in love with,
right? I asked.
Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink one that
would make roses jealous. Maybe.
You re mad at me because I hurt the man you
love, I concluded. Makes sense but why the hell didn t
you talk to me about this?
How could I? You were dating him!
I mean afterwards, I said. We could have figured
this out.
No, we couldn t. It doesn t matter, anyway. He
doesn t want me not after having you.
My heart sank to my shoes. How unfair. I d hurt
Spencer and in turn hurt my best friend. Life couldn t
really suck much more at the moment. Morgan, I&
Oh, save it, she said. There s really not much you
can say.
And what was I supposed to do? Huh? If I would
have stayed with him to spare his feelings then he
wouldn t have gone out with you, either because we
would have been together, I tried to explain. And holy
shit, why is he so upset? We weren t supposed to be
serious.
Well he was, she defended.
That s not my fault, I answered. Not in the least. I
can t help the way he feels for me anymore than I can t
help that I don t feel the same way.
I know that, she said.
Then why are we arguing? I asked.
She paused like she had to remember what the point
of the whole argument was. Her chest heaved as angry
breaths shuddered her insides. She swiped at her brow
and closed her eyes. The point is not how you feel about
him or whether you should be with him. If you don t have
feelings for him then you did the right thing by breaking
up with him. She opened her eyes and met mine. But
this whole act with Collin upset him I could tell. And
then the hickey&
Bite mark, I corrected.
She rolled her eyes. Whatever. Well, tell me the
truth, Bailey did you sleep with him?
I wouldn t lie. I had to tell her the truth and get it
out of the way. There was no way in hell we d be able to
fix our friendship if I lied to her. Yes, I did.
She scowled and flopped back into the sofa. She
pinched the bridge of her nose as if stopping it from
bleeding. Does Spencer know?
I snorted. I d think you d know that before me.
She opened her eyes and glared. That s not funny.
Didn t mean it to be, I said in a firm voice. I don t
know if he knows. I just figured if he did, he would have
told you. He s obviously been confiding in you.
He hasn t mentioned it, she said.
Both me and Collin agreed that he shouldn t know
right now, I said.
I m not telling him, she snapped.
I softened. You really love him, don t you?
It doesn t matter, she said and ducked her head.
Not now.
I chuckled and gained a confused look from Morgan.
Irelyn thought you were in love with Collin. She even
convinced me you were.
She straightened as her brows dipped over her eyes.
You thought I was in love with Collin? I nodded. She
scooted to the edge of the sofa as understanding then hurt
flamed in her eyes. And you still slept with him?
My heart freaked and pounded furiously as though
trying to knock some sense into me. It needn t have
worried I realized how stupid I was to open my mouth.
Hey, I didn t know you were in love with him Irelyn
told me the next day.
Her lips pulled into a thoughtful frown as she slowly
nodded. So, that was the first time?
I& I said as I gawked at her open-mouthed.
But you slept with him the night before Steffi s
party, didn t you? When you bit him. She cocked her
head and waited for my answer.
I blew a long breath of air. Yeah.
She jumped to her feet. Damn it, Bailey. How could
you do that?
Hang on, I said as I, too, stood. You don t love him
you just said so.
That is totally beside the point! You didn t know
that. You thought I was in love with him and you still
slept with him! How could you do that?
My head was spinning wild circles. I could see
exactly what she meant but then I couldn t. I was at a
total loss for words and at a loss for what to do. Morg&
Save it! she screamed as she stormed across the
room. Just& ugh! She jerked the door open and let it
slam behind her.
I sank into the chair, my hangover headache
reappearing with a vengeance. What the hell was I going
to do now?
Chapter Thirteen
I mulled the argument with Morgan for the next few
days - especially while I sat in the lifeguard chair and
watched over the pool. Yes, I knew I had been wrong to
sleep with Collin when I thought Morgan was in love with
him but she was blowing things entirely out of proportion.
I tried to sort things out and find a place to put them
all so maybe I could be better prepared when I next had
the chance to speak to her, but I was failing miserably.
And Morgan was totally avoiding me. She came and went
while I was gone and didn t sleep in her bed. I wasn t sure
where she was staying and I couldn t even call Irelyn to
ask if she knew.
Life was definitely a bitch.
And to top it all off, I hadn t heard from Collin since
he d called Monday night to see how I was feeling and if
things were better with Morgan. I d given him an edited
version of the argument doing what I could to keep him
from feeling like he needed to be involved. But once that
conversation had ended, it was like he d dropped off the
face of the earth. Maybe he was tired of all the drama. I
certainly was.
I was grateful for Otis s company for I d have been
extremely lonely in that condo by myself. I rained
affection on him and took him with me wherever I went.
He seemed to be the only friend I had left.
Thursday afternoon, I took Otis to the local dog park
and watched him romp with the other dogs while I
enjoyed the shade of a huge oak tree. My eyes glazed over
as I stared out into the enclosure and contemplated
again what to do. I briefly entertained the notion of
calling Spencer and sitting him down for a nice little chat.
Maybe if I straightened things out with him gave him a
little closure maybe he d take Morgan out.
I bent to rest my elbows on my knees and cradled my
head in my hands. I couldn t force Spencer to love Morgan
any more than I could force Collin to love me. What a sad,
silly, pathetic mess this whole situation had become.
What the hell was going on, anyway?
I sat back to tick points off my finger, not caring if
the other dog lovers thought me strange. They could all
bite my ass.
The first tick was Morgan. She loved Spencer. But,
enter second tick, Spencer loved me. Then, thirdly, me I
loved Collin. And fourth, Collin. He loved Tori. Possibly. I
wasn t totally sure about that at all. How could he
willingly sleep with me if he loved another? Collin didn t
work that way. At least, I didn t think so. Maybe he didn t
love me, but I was beginning to wonder if he loved Tori.
I groaned and grabbed the leash that I d dropped to
the bench beside me. I wasn t solving anything here at
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| Cytat |
Dobre pomysły nie mają przeszłości, mają tylko przyszłość. Robert Mallet
De minimis - o najmniejszych rzeczach.
Dobroć jest ważniejsza niż mądrość, a uznanie tej prawdy to pierwszy krok do mądrości. Theodore Isaac Rubin
Dobro to tylko to, co szlachetne, zło to tylko to, co haniebne.
Dla człowieka nie tylko świat otaczający jest zagadką; jest on nią sam dla siebie. I z obu tajemnic bardziej dręczącą wydaje się ta druga. Antoni Kępiński (1918-1972)
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